After a great deal of deliberating Sunday night, I finally decided to attend your funeral yesterday. I didn't want to be intrusive towards your family, but after attending it I hope that the incredible amount of support helped to ease their pain. The church service was unbelievably sad, yet at the same time incredibly uplifting because I now have faith that you are happy and at peace. I could not help but laugh through the tears when your Aunt said something like “God needed someone to make him laugh.” I was imagining you arriving in a stereotypical heaven, dressed in a toga, and unleashing your arsenal of hilarity to the afterlife. It was amazing how many times I would be crying and then out of nowhere I would just start smiling and laughing as I remembered your loveable antics. The funeral procession had to be at least 200 cars long - John Smith, Trevor Barnes, and I were in the very last car. Seems like the way you’d want it though, us holding up the back and you holding up the front – like a team.…ok, fine, maybe John Smith’s minivan is just a little slow and a bunch of people passed us. Haha, you were probably laughing about that. I do remember quite a few minivan jokes from last year’s lunch. At a couple points during our travel we thought we would be separated from the group, but fortunately we finally made it. On the way there we tried to release some of the frustration we were feeling by listening to some AWESOME music (a little Michael Jackson and N Sync). We tried to rock the back of the procession just as hard as you were, without a doubt, rocking the front. As much as we tried, however, I don't think we were able to. Just your sheer presence rocks more than we ever could in a lifetime. The amount of support at the funeral was amazing. I wish someone had taken an aerial picture of your burial. It would surely have made a statement as to how many lives you touched. School is going to be difficult today. It is going to be hard to come to grips with the fact that I will never see you bounding across the hallways with that huge smile upon your face, spreading your love to whomever would let it into their hearts. I’d do anything to see you again, man, but you probably know that. If I could only see and hear one more “GRAFLAC!” come out of your mouth maybe this weight would be lifted off my chest. Until then, I’ll hope and pray I see you again.

Coming from someone who has attempted suicide in the past, this really cuts deep. Even now, almost a week later it still brings me to tears just typing this. Surviving it has made me realize how much I can enjoy life and if it wasn't for my friends there is no way I would still be sitting here today to write this to you. To everyone out there, if your feeling like following the same path, talk to someone. Trust me, it helps and even if it doesn't fix the problem, it can ease the pain enough.

Learn from this, it's easier to hide pain with a fake smile on your face than many think. Don't let someone close to you take their own life. If you don't do something about it now, who knows, it may be to late tomarrow.

At times life is wicked and I just can't see the light
A silver lining sometimes isn't enough
To make some wrongs seem right
Whatever life brings
I've been through everything
And know I'm on my knees again

But I know I must go on
Although I hurt I must be strong
Because inside I know that many feel this way

Children don't stop dancing
Believe you can fly
Away... away

At times life's unfair and you know it's plain to see
Hey God I know I'm just a dot in this world
Have you forgot about me?
Whatever life brings
I've been through everything
And know I'm on my knees again

But I know I must go on
Although I hurt I must be strong
Because inside I know that many feel this way

We hardly knew each other but I have a few memories of you. Last year in Deedy's class was great, you played my husband in that silent snore commercial...even while we were shooting our scene and were supposed to be serious, you had a smile on your face and you were laughing.
You will never know how much you are truly missed by everyone and how much you were loved. You touched so many lives in your brief time here on earth.
But no matter how much we all miss you and wish you were still here with us, we know that you are now in a much better place and you wait for us and will greet us when our days come no matter when they come.

Rest in Peace kid!

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

I never knew u that well...i knew who u were in elementary school, Baseball at the Frankfort park district, and from J.C. Flicks. I always thought u were the happiest kid, i never though that u would be someone to do what you did. I remember one time when i was walking up to wills house for a party...u were drivin with a bunch of ur friends up the couldesack...u had a flashlight and u shined it throuh his front window from u car. Everyone thought it was the cops...i knew it was u and i thought it was hilarious. U were a very funny kid in shop class this year i wish i would of gotten the chance to know u better than i did. From being at school today and seeing all the kids with yellow ribbons that said "Graf...I Love You" and all the kids with those sad looks on there faces, i knew it was nothing other than them thinking about and how great of a frien that you were to them. Id just like to say that ur in a better place now and i hope u can say the same...ill c ur smile everyday in shop class from now on even though u wont be there...ill see u soon.

"I'm not sorry for what i've done. I a'm sorry for what you've become. and your torturing bullsh*t has got to end. I'm not sorry for what i've done. but i'm sorry for what you've become. and your disencouraging nonsense has got to end."

FREEBIRD
If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.

Thank you for me being there for me always no matter how small the situation was.

In response to the "walkout": I do think it's a good idea

Today there was no announcement, or recognition of Eric today. I think it is a slap in the face for those who care about Eric to not recognize him where he made his impact most known. If someone would develop the idea...i would strongly support it.

God Bless you Eric, made you fly on the wings of angels, and may you enjoy Heaven for all of its worth.

This is our last embrace
Must I dream and always see your face
Why can't we overcome this wall
Well, maybe it's just because i didn't know you at all

Kiss me, please kiss me
But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation
You know it makes me so angry 'cause i know that in time
I'll only make you cry, this is our last goodbye

Did you say 'no, this can't happen to me,'
And did you rush to the phone to call
Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind
Saying maybe you didn't know him at all
You didn't know him at all, oh, you didn't know

Well, the bells out in the church tower chime
Burning clues into this heart of mine
Thinking so hard on her soft eyes and the memories
Offer signs that it's over... it's over
jeff buckley last goodbye

iF tEaRs cOuLd bUiLd a StAiRwAy
& mEmOriEs a LaNe
i wOuLd wALk riGhT uP tO hEaVeN
2 bRiNg yOu hOmE aGaiN
nO fArEwELL wOrDs wErE sPoKeN,
nO tiMe tO sAy gOoDbYe
yOu wErE GoNe bEfOrE wE KnEw iT
& oNLy gOd kNowS wHy
mY hEaRt sTiLL aChEs iN sAdDnEsS &
sEcReT tEaRs StiLL fLoW
wHaT iT mEaNt tO LoSe yOu...
nO wUn WiLL eVer kNow

-For Eric-

Did you know how many lives you touched
Or how many people cared
Did you know all the people you made smile
Or how much we loved your hair
My friend, your presence brought us joy
Each and every single day
But now we're left with all these tears
Because you've flown away
But you have gone to a better place
And can watch us from above
A place where you can be at peace
Filled with nothing but love
Right now each time I think of you
All I can do is cry
Heads in our hands, we all sit around
Continuously asking "why?"
But that is a question no one can answer
No one except for you
But I trust that you are happier now
Even though we're without a clue
The kid who could make anyone laugh
That's a way you can be remembered
Whichever way we think of you
We know you'll be with us forever
We can take you with us buddy
Wherever we may go
Never again will any one of us
Be entirely alone
We have an angel who's up in heaven
Waiting for us to arrive
He's up there watching over us
So free, so calm, so alive
So Eric, we love you and miss you
But thanks for leaving us with so much
I'll say what I would have in your yearbook-
"So long, Love you, Keep in Touch!"
I will not say "goodbye" now
I don't want to say "farewell" to your smile
So I'm simply going to say, to you my friend,
"See you in a little while..."

i love and miss you

WOW, i can't believe that i never got the chance to talk with you, know you, and all of the above. I know i have seen you around school, come on you really couldn't miss your RED hair. By the way the RED hair is and was so attractive;)
Well, it seems that you took your life for some reason, some reason which must have been inside of you and i wish i could have known you so i could have helped you. I am awesome at listening to people and if i may say so.. advice that follows is also great. Hearing you took your life is such a awful thing to hear, i mean come on eric, is that the way out of a problem?? I know you must have been going through some hard times, but why didn't you turn to your MANY MANY FRIENDS and the RADOM PEOPLE here? I bet you didn't feel they could have helped, but you don't know that now do you? You don't get that chance to ever find out as well. You know, i only hope you knew Jesus in your heart and sole, because that is the way to heaven. Well, even though any pastor will tell you that, i feel you are up in heaven and Jesus was there to greet you with open arms. Maybe you will bring laughter to the people up there, like you seemed to do here! Eric, i can only hope you will come back to all these people and while they are sitting here thinking about you, you make them start laughing like they did with you; as if you were sitting there with them!

This is something i hope everyone reads, regardless christian, jew, or whatever.. read the 23 Psalm

The lord is my Shepherd I shall not want
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures
He leadeth me beside the still waters
He restoreth my soul
He Guideth me in straight paths for his name sake
Yea though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear
no evil
For thou art with me Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me
Thou preparest a table before me in the presents of my enemies Thou
has anointed
my head with oil, my cup runeth over
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and
I shall
live in the house of the lord for ever and ever

*****Poem*****
E_endless laughter, That you shared and that everyone here has shared with you.

R_rememberance, something you will do. Also, is what everyone will do for YOU!

I_incounters, the may which you have had while here on earth! Also, which people will remember. Even if it was only just ONCE.

C_crying, you may have been crying on the inside because you were hurting, but now many will cry, but only thinking about YOU!

P.S. if ANYONE ever needs to talk about anything instant message me or send me an email

I'm not gonna yell at you, I'm not gonna ask you
What did you do this time?
Instead I'll cry for you, instead I'll miss you
And ask you to please watch over my life

Today's a new day, and it's been a few days
Since you turned away from everything
But now you're up there, looking down here
And everything is wrong with this scene

So let me say goodbye, just this last time
And I know somehow you hear me
I didn't get to do, what I wanted to
Different story, different ending
It's not the movies, it's not a fairy tale
Cause the good guy went down this time
So we close this book and lock it in our hears

When i was in 5th grade i remember you being on my bus, we stopped at the train tracks and you blew a train whistle...
One night i stopped at J.C. Flicks and you decided to set up a chair and a movie stand and jump over it- we never thought you'd make it when you added a sign, but you proved us wrong

Keep up the good work up there- From peer reaction i can tell that you'll never realize how loved you were

Rest Peacefully Eric Graf.

_Your Friend, Angie_